Behind These Hazel Eyes
by DomLuver
Summary: -ONESHOT- When she finds a box she has sworn never to open again, will her feelings toward him return? And when he comes back after a long mission, will he still feel the same way about her? K/D


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Ok, I know this song is over-used here, but I just felt the need to write it :) I think it was Navigator101, who pointed out that most of my songfics have sad endings. So this is for Navi: I hope it's happy enough for you :)

Also, I want to apologise in advance for anything that doesn't make sense, or doesn't link with something I said earlier, because I wrote it in separate bits, so it got a bit muddled up. But if you would like, just tell me via a PM or review, and I'll fix it :)

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**Behind These Hazel Eyes by Kelly Clarkson**

She pulled out a box covered with dust. The top of it read "DON'T OPEN EVER AGAIN," in thick black ink. Having forgotten why she wrote it, Kel dragged the box out from the bottom of her closet and set it in the middle of the room. Her fiancé came up behind her and helped her open it. Flipping the last flap, she gasped. A painting of her and – and a certain man sat perfectly at the top. She choked on a tear. _No, no, not this box, _she thought desperately_._ Kel dropped the framed painting and ran for the privy. Inside, she remembered all the good times they had together, and how they ended. Dom had taken a piece of her that day; when he said they should move on and see other people. He decided he didn't want it, but Kel _had_ wanted it. She wanted it so badly, but didn't say a word about it. Now, 3 years later, she regretted it.

"Gods curse it. Why did I have to find that box?" She pressed her palms to her eyes, hoping it would stop her from crying.

"Kel? Is everything alright?" Jake asked, smiling despite sounding worried. His smile was strong, yet warm, set in a jaw that has been broken at least twice. His chestnut hair only just covered his dark brown eyes. His nose had also met one too many fists, and was crooked. But that's why Kel loved him. He was no court knight who stood there looking pretty. He was a real knight, who helped defend the kingdom. Jake of Blue Harbour stood just a few inches taller than Kel, being 5 years her senior.

Jake had come into her life not long after Dom left it, and had warmed her heart. He was a sweetheart, a real gentleman. She often wondered how she hadn't met him before. When she was a page, he was already a squire, and by the time she was squire, he was already knighted. The summer after she and Dom said their goodbyes, he came back from the south coast, watching what came through on the cargo ships.

Kel's parents loved Jake when she introduced them to him, but they knew she didn't love him the way she loved Dom. She loved Jake, they could see, but it was more of a brotherly type of love. Everyone knew how madly in love with Dom she was. She just didn't want to admit it. And she only had a week to realise what a big mistake she was making in marrying Jake.

Jake had come into the privy and sat himself down next to her on the cold floor. "What is it, sweet?" he put an arm around her shoulders, and rocked her back and fourth, letting her cry into his shirt. Soon enough, she fell asleep in his arms, but he fell asleep too.

Seems like just yesterday you were a part of me

I used to stand so tall; I used to be so strong

Your arms around me tight, everything had felt so right

Unbreakable, like nothing could go wrong

"_Tell me your darkest secret" he said. They were sprawled on the grass, making pictures out of clouds after a picnic. _

"_What do you mean by darkest?" She answered, sitting up._

"_That's not fair. You can't answer a question with another question!" he protested, pulling himself up next to her. _

"_But I just did." She replied, getting a chuckle from him. "Ok, fine. I used to be terrified of heights .Actually, I still kind of am." _

"_Kel, everyone knew that." He said, wrapping an arm around her waist. She leaned into his arm, breathing in his scent. "Ok, I'll ask a different question." They sat there for a while, Kel waiting for Dom to come up with another question. "I got it! What did you think of me the first time we met?"_

"_Oh that's a hard one….When did we first meet? Was it…? I remember now! It was my….second day of being Raoul's squire I think, and we got called out in the middle of the night. You brought me a turnover that night." She snuggled into his chest, and tilted her head up to meet his eyes. "I thought you were very handsome and very nice" she smiled up at him. _

"_Is that all?" he asked, pushing a stray lock of hair from her face. "Nothing else? What about how I bet that you would stay on your horse in that joust against My Lord when everyone bet against it?" _

"_Ah, yes, but then you received a free meal because of me." She replied cheekily. She pecked him on the cheek playfully, and got up to run. "You're it!"_

"_Not for long I'm not!" he got up, and started chasing her around the meadow. He finally caught her around the waist, lifting her off the ground, causing her to squeal. He planted her feet on the grass and turned her to face him. Kel got lost in his eyes, before realising their lips were almost touching. Her eyes fluttered closed as she felt his soft lips on hers. They spent the rest of the afternoon playing 'Tag' and when the time came to go back to the palace, neither wanted to forget what had happened that day. _

Now I can't breathe, no I can't sleep

I'm barely hanging on

Here I am, once again

I'm torn into pieces

Can't deny it, can't pretend

Just thought you were the one

Broken up, deep inside

But you won't get to see the tears I've cried

Behind these hazel eyes

Kel woke up on the privy floor with a blanket. She looked for Jake, but only found a note that read "_Dearest Kel, something's come up in the North. I should be back before the big day. Love always, Jake." _After breakfast in the mess as usual, she took a deep breath and decided to confront the box. She found the ring he gave her, when he promised that one day, he would convince the King to lift the law about men in the Own getting married, and the first thing he would do after that is marry her. She threw the ring on the floor, watching it bounce on the marble floor, tears streaming down her face. _You lied! You lied to me! You broke your promise! _

She found Dom's favourite dress. He used to make her wear it, watching her squirm and complain about the low neckline and the tight bodice, and then tell her how beautiful she looked in it. He would tell her how the red brought out her eyes, making them seem darker and more mysterious than they really were and how it brought out the highlights in her hair, which made it all worthwhile. Jake never said anything like that. He was more…reserved…and kept his thoughts to himself. That was good because she wouldn't get embarrassed, but she had missed Dom's flirtations.

When Dom whispered huskily in her ear about what he wanted to do to her after the ball, she felt shivers down her spine, but loved it. She loved how every time Dom touched her made her skin tingle and her insides warm. She loved how each word he breathed to her set her cheeks on fire while sending chills down her body. She loved how just seeing his smile would make her knees weak and her stomach flip.

But he was gone now, out of her life. He promised that they wouldn't see each other again, to ease the pain. Why did he leave again? She didn't remember. She only knew that Dom left the very next day, with Third Company in tow, on some strange mission. She could remember crying herself to sleep every night for almost a month. She remembered refusing to eat anything for a week until Raoul, Alanna, Yuki, Neal and her parents forced her to. But most of all, she remembered the pain she put herself through, and regretted not saying anything to stop him leaving.

I told you everything, opened up and let you in

You made me feel alright for once in my life

Now all that's left of me is what I pretend to be

So together but so broken up inside

_Both their faces were streaked with tears. Neither of them wanted it this way, though both were too stubborn to say so. _

"_I'm sorry. This is for the better, I assure you," he told her slowly, as if he was unsure of his words. She stared back at him, eyes not seeing. Her senses stopped working. Her tears blurred her sight, but she refused to wipe at them, refused to show him that she was crying. She silently thanked the night for being so dark, so he couldn't see her tears and messed up hair. She tried to stay strong, to feel like she wasn't affected by his words. Kel stopped hearing what he was saying. Funny, how your ears only hear things they want to. _

"_It's because of that girl isn't it?" Kel said all of a sudden._

"_What girl?" he asked, moving closer to hug her._

_She backed away from him, shaking her head. _No, Kel. Think straight. You saw them, remember? Don't give in to him._ "No, Dom, don't act dumb. I know about you two. I was stupid not to see it earlier. You obviously don't love me." More tears fell, some landing on the ground. She heard him sigh. _

"_Kel, you don't get it – " he started._

"_I don't get it? What's there to get, Dom? You love her, not me. What don't I get?" she felt a mixture of feelings now: frustration, anger and disappointment. She had thought he was the one. But once again, she was wrong. It's just that the way she felt towards him was different from Cleon and Neal. This felt…real. "Let's face it Dom. You never really stopped being that Ladies Man you were before I met you." She turned on her heel, trying to walk away instead of running._

_He caught her hand. _Dammit, I should've run. _"Kel, please, just hear me out. Firstly, I can't believe you would accuse me of having an affair. I love you too much. Secondly, I just think we should take a break. I'll be going on an awfully long mission tomorrow, and I don't want you to be weighed down by my absence. You could see other people, instead of being confined by your ties with me."_

"_And you really think I would do such a thing? Fine then. Goodbye Dom" This time, she ran. _

Now I can't breathe, no I can't sleep

I'm barely hanging on

Here I am, once again

I'm torn into pieces

Can't deny it, can't pretend

Just thought you were the one

Broken up, deep inside

But you won't get to see the tears I've cried

Behind these hazel eyes

She walked up the aisle, on her father's arm. Jake smiled at her from the altar, and fidgeted nervously. Just before Kel reached the altar, where Jake and the Mithran priest stood, she spotted someone out of the corner of her eye. Dom sat in the front row, with a court beauty. His fiancé, she guessed. Word had travelled and she heard that he recently proposed to this girl, and that she had accepted. She forced herself not to pay any attention to him, pushing him out of her vision. But she couldn't help it. Seeing him there, all dressed up, he looked not just dashing, but _handsome. _She felt like she was meeting him all over again.

She snapped back to reality when Jake offered his hand to her, and Pierre kissed his youngest daughter and let her go. She couldn't help it. It didn't feel right - standing there, in front of everybody, with Jake, when she knew her heart belonged to Dom. Her peripheral vision showed her that Dom was having the same problem. He stood, and excused himself from the church quietly, muttering about visiting the privy. His mother glared at him for his rudeness but he seemed not to notice.

She looked into Jake's eyes. The love she saw in them before was gone. Ever since the rediscovery of the box, she never really felt the same towards him. She loved Dom. This was a big mistake. "I'm sorry Jake. I can't do this" she choked on the words, and ran out of the church. She kept her tear-stained face down, not wanting anyone see that she was crying. She ran though the Royal Gardens, her dress tearing on bushes and thorns of roses. She stopped to take off her shoes, arranging them so that they hung on her hand, and ran into the maze. She doubted anyone would look for her in there. She found herself in the middle of the maze, at the fountain where she and Dom used to spend their days chasing each other. That was years ago. Now, the fountain had stopped working, probably from leaves clotting it.

There, she sat on the rim of the fountain, and cried. After years of bottling things up under her Yamani Mask, she let loose. She cried like a child who lost her favourite toy, like a mother who learnt her son has committed suicide, like a woman who had her heart ripped into pieces. She didn't even notice the footsteps that came, but she felt it when someone sat next to her and pulled her into their arms.

Swallow me then spit me out

For hating you I blame myself

Seeing you it kills me numb

No, I don't cry on the outside anymore

Anymore

"Kel, don't cry." She stood, surprised, she hadn't expected _Dom_ to come after her.

"Dom, I, I, should go." She took 3 steps before he stopped her, gripping her hand. _Déjà vu…_

"Please, Kel, listen to me" Dom said softly, almost pleading. When she turned and looked at his face, she saw that he too, was crying. "I thought – that once we finished, I wouldn't feel this way anymore. But – seeing you today, in such a beautiful gown, giving yourself to another man, well, I couldn't watch"

She was mad at herself, and mad at Dom. How could he disappear from her life then waltz back in, like nothing had happened between them, wanting to be accepted again?

"Kel, would you believe it that I only left you because I felt that I didn't deserve you?" she stared at him, speechless. "Thought so. You were always too perfect, and I couldn't live up to it. I wasn't good enough." He sighed, and ran a hand through his hair. Oh, how much she wanted to reach out and stroke it again. He chuckled. "I was hoping, that, when I came back, and my thoughts cleared up, that I would propose and you would accept. But then that Jake of Blue Harbour stepped in….I'm just sorry Kel, I really am"

She couldn't take it anymore. She was mad, mad at herself, and at Dom. "I loved you, Dom! I loved you and you knew it! But – you were too caught up with your own feelings!" she yelled. She threw her bouquet at him. Gods know why she still had it. She thought she had dropped it on her way here.

"I guess I deserved that…" he said slowly, running his hand through his hair. There were a few strands that stood up, giving Kel the urge to flatten them. Oh what she would give to stroke his soft hair again...to love him again…but it hurt too much. Without knowing it, she walked towards him, in a daze, and stopped straight before him.

"You – you – you –" she couldn't finish her sentence. More tears choked at her throat. _You broke my heart,_ she wanted to yell at him. She shook her head, and in the spur of the moment, she slapped him. Straight after she did, she gasped and touched his reddening cheek with a soft hand, stroking it, making sure he was ok. "I – Dom – I'm sorry I didn't mean to slap you, it's just –" She burst out crying again, so unlike her. But it made her human, and made Dom love her more.

Here I am, once again

I'm torn into pieces

Can't deny it, can't pretend

Just thought you were the one

Broken up, deep inside

But you won't get to see the tears I've cried

Behind these hazel eyes

He let her cry, for it was rare that she cried so openly. Sometimes she would silently sob into her pillow, thinking about all the lives she took at war. She let her bury her face into his chest, for it felt like the old days when they were together. He had missed her. The last 3 years he spent with Third Company, roaming the realm, with nothing in particular to do. They helped villages that got burnt down and patrolled the borders. All because he had to get away from Kel. No one knew why they were wandering aimlessly, except for Neal. If they knew they wouldn't have come. They wouldn't obey him. Not after he hurt their Lady Knight.

"Kel, come back to me," he whispered in her ear. "Please. I've missed you so much."

"I – Dom, I just ran out of my wedding. How do you expect me to go back to you so quickly?"

"I can wait. I'll wait forever if I need to." he comforted her, stroking her hair and rubbing her back gently.

"I always knew you should've been a Player." He chuckled, and kissed her on the cheek.

"I still love you, Kel"

"I think I still love you too."

"Do you think we could work something out?"

"Maybe…"

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**Love it? Like it? Dislike it? Hate it? RATE IT! **

**Ok, that didn't make sense......but you know....I always like a good review. *hint hint***

**I'm still trying to come up with ideas for Kel Finally Realises, but it might take a while......I might also change the title of it.......if I can think of a suitable title, that is.**

**Anyways, hope you have a very Merry Christmas everyone! Get lots of presents and eat lots of chocolate! :)**

**Love, **

**DomLuver**

**xx mwah**


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